Denver is Gearing Up for a Riot

Living in the Mile High City you get accustomed to certain things. Like the constant changes in the weather, one heart breaking sports loss after another, and riots whenever something big happens. In Denver not too many big things happen that often. I’m not calling the city uneventful by any means. There is always something going on. It’s just when something out of the ordinary or extraordinary happens, we get so excited we riot a bit. Here’s a list of the LoDo riots I’ve seen and been in.

1996- Colorado Avalanche win the Stanley Cup. This being Denver’s 1st actual world title in any sport and we went kind of nuts and burnt things up, flipped cars over and looted local shops.

97/98- Denver Broncos win Super Bowl 32 victory over the heavily favored Green Bay Packers. This was our chance to show the sports world we could win and not act like we are cousins of New Jersey. We F’d up. This riot was a bit bigger and a lot more people got hurt. A friend of mine actually had to work that night, and when he got off of the bus in the Capital Hill area he was beaten up pretty good for wearing a Packers jacket.

98/99- Super Bowl 33. This one we handled with grace. Just a lot of drunken brawls in the streets of Downtown Denver.

99/00- Millennium baby. We celebrated like it was 2999. That’s probably why Denver’s finest dosed us all in tear gas and began detaining individuals at random, for doing things that the city expected us to do. As always fights between cops and civilians broke out, and shops got broken into.

It has been relatively quiet for about eight years. Just minor upheavals here and there. But everyone knows that we are due for a big one. I’m guessing that between August 22 and 25 we will start some shit again. That is the weekend of the Democratic National Convention, or as I like to call it Barak-a-palooza. There are already talks and plans for protests involving choice words for govt. officials and dirty bombs. These dirty bombs are said to be urine and feces filled projectiles. (How you get shit into a balloon I don’t know.) It all proves to be very interesting as it follows directly on the heals of the Olympic Games in China. National pride will be brimming along with raging tempers between donkeys and elephants. All this along with the crazy ass residents of Denver, I can’t wait. I’m not involved in politics what-so-ever, but the chance to see some one anyone for that matter hit in the face with a balloon full of shit is one I can’t pass up. I’ll be ready this time. Expect to see me in the background cracking up when an MSNBC reporter catches a piss bag in the face. Ahhh Denver, ain’t it grand?